Some friends and I went biking along the burke gilman on Saturday, and we stopped at a Lake Forest shopping area for lunch.  While sitting on the curb, munching on an Albertson's corndog and potato salad, I hear a tiny girl, maybe 4 years old, exclaim, "You're a genius!" as she followed her grinning mother.  Later on, this little boy dashes out of Albertsons and shouts, "Grandma, you're walking too fast!"      

I think that's the kind of respect I want from my kids/grandkids someday.  None of this I'm-forced-to-listen-to-you-because-you're-older-than-me attitude.  Well, maybe a little.  Whatever. 

Happy Easter ya'll.  

Yes, this is one of those posts that makes a silly connection and provokes a lot of raised eyebrows.  I had a thought that stuck with me as I drove in the rain, listening to 88.5 FM.  The DJ was interviewing a guy who works in a recording studio and he mentioned how a previous artist began to "engineer" a composition for stringed instruments. 

I've always thought about how there must be a connection between the way I think about music and the way I think about academic subjects.  That radio segment shed some light on the connection: I analyze music with somewhat of an engineering lens.  For instance, many hear a drum beat and think of it as the rhythm and pulse of a song; I pick it apart to understand how it subdivides, how it lines up with the bass line, and how transition fills are implemented.  "Implemented" is way too nerdy a word for music, by the way.  And regarding song writing, there are essentially two parts that run through my mind, well, when I used to write: Design and... again, implementation (ugh...).  And then the tweaking.  "Tweaking" is appropriately nerdy a word for music, by the way.  I write down some scattered half-lyrics on notebook paper (design), and then I try to play it on the acoustic guitar (implementation).  But.. it's just... not... good enough!  Must tweak!  And tweak some more! It must be engineered precisely such that the desired emotional/nonemotional sound is conveyed through my original thoughts.  It must be optimal.  Again, one of those words.

What about other things?  Say, faith.  I have found myself often asking things like, "how can I implement the ten commandments, the beatitudes, the teachings of Paul on (or should I say, against) marriage, the commercialized-Chrisitan WWJD idealism into my daily life, such that I have this optimal, efficient Christian life?"  "What formulas work here?"  Kinda gross.  Because my life isn't a device that I'm putting together, governed by equations and Java code.  At least I hope not.  I guess what I'm trying to get at is that the Christian faith promotes some things that don't make total sense to me, at least from an engineering standpoint. 

=> "Be still, and know that I am God"  provokes an tiny thought in my mind: "Okay, check, I sure know it.  What now?"

=> The Mary and Martha story (where Martha is rebuked for working hard and getting things done) leaves me very puzzled about how to do good ol' community service or church ministry.

=> Prayer itself makes me struggle a lot with this whole [y = mx + b] equation (where y is blessings, x is prayers, m is intensity of prayer, and b is... uh, God's goodness even without prayer).  So how few words can I pray to get the most yield?  =P 

I suppose I have a lot of growing in the pursuit of just loving and caring, without expectations, without motivations, without superficiality.  Without efficiency in mind.  Thanks for reading.